This is what it’s saying:
Nicole… we both know you love me. You can’t hide it. I’m gorgeous. My color shifts are subtle, beautiful, and you want to knit me into socks. You want to knit me into socks for you, right now. Disregard your homework. Don’t knit me for Ryan. He can have the gold variegated sock yarn in your stash. Knit me.
I make the poor, frogged-and-wound-again plain old KnitPicks Andes yarn next to me look like a bag lady.
I’m gorgeous. Knit me.
… save me o_o